Can I, imprisoned, body-bound, touch
The starry garment of the Oversoul,
Reach from my tiny part to the great Whole,
And spread my Little to the infinite Mulch,
When Truth forever slips from out my clutch,
And what I take indeed, I do but dole
In cupfuls from a rimless ocean-bowl
That holds a million million million such?
And Yet, some Thing that moves among the stars,
And holds the cosmos in a web of law,
Moves too in me: a hunger, a quick thaw
Of soul that melts the ancient bars,
As I, a member of creation, sing
The burning oneness binding everything.
-Kenneth E. Boulding
I’ve been thinking about how this Beginning of an earthly life within my body must be connected to the Spirit that was and is the Beginning of all life. Clean existence. Is it pure consciousness that wiggles inside? Does it have anything to do with consciousness? This urge to Bring Forth is something I can understand bodily now. This desire to Bring Forth, mixed with fear, mixed with trust, mixed with the longing to love and nurture- and to also allow for freedom. Is it something of what god felt when embarking on the creation of this universe?
I can see how having the christ to embody what had mostly been language and stale theology was and has been essential for some of us to get it. The deepest and most sustainable way of Knowing does always seem to come through embodiment- through our bodies and relationships, and interacting with creation.
I’m grateful to be rooted in a tradition that gives wild priority to Incarnation. It’s humble, it’s actual, it’s us, it’s here, it’s now. And there’s not only the fleshing out of it all, but the glorious inner light. the christ within: she quells our anxiety and speaks to us in ways that are entirely secret and almost impossible to express. reminds. suggests. sometimes even sends us what we need. sometimes even withholds what needs to be withheld.
For a little while longer, the identity of our child will be withheld, so that they can grow stronger, and so we can continue on the emotional, preparatory journey that is necessary. I’m not sure how fair it is that only women are able to undergo this experience. It is a marvel. And marvelously uncomfortable at week 35. I am equal parts lord have mercy and thanks be to god.
holding all pregnant women of the world in the Light..”in the burning oneness binding everything.”